An experience with an agency, and its effects

I was scouted by an agency this week, and had a meeting with them yesterday. It was kind of doomed from the start, due to their need for fees of £95 per week. That's all well and good if you have that kind of money, and frankly I doubt that many emerging artists do. They seem to provide a fair amount for the money, however much of this goes on during office hours, which would have a knock-on effect of me taking time off from my day job, thereby earning less. I'm not sure I can spare £95 now, let alone if I was earning less.
I went along to this interview anyway, in the hopes that negotiation would be possible, but expecting that this would not be the case. Of course, it wasn't, on the grounds that all of their artists should be treated equally, and I can't really argue with that. As usual, art boils down to money and self-promotion. Even the person I met yesterday said this, but that's not something I don't already know. He had obviously already made his money and had his success, as he told me £95 per week can easily be borrowed. I cannot imagine who on earth would lend me that amount on a weekly basis.
The whole experience was a bit strange. I arrived on time, but had to wait for half an hour in the gallery, whilst the show was being changed over. I felt and was treated like I was in the way a bit, and I personally felt it was a bit unprofessional to be doing this on a day when they knew people were coming in for meetings.
The actual interview was nothing too special. I received an email this morning telling me what they had found impressive about me, and I have to say that is a confidence boost. However, I have decided not to complete the application process for this, on the basis of some negative comments I've heard about this organisation, the financial issue, and also the impression I got that I would be very much controlled if I became involved. Requiring approval for everything would kind of kill one of the main reasons I became involved with art in the first place - complete freedom.
Despite this, spending time in this kind of environment again has really reminded me of what I really want to be doing in life, and that I do not want to be stuck in an office job for the rest of my life. As a result of this, I've spend some time today looking into opportunities such as residencies, exhibition call for entries etc and making a few applications, and I feel a new sense of motivation. Having a day job and being tired can easily make you lazy, and I feel that has happened to me recently. I'm pleased that I've at least gained some momentum as a result of this experience. I'm still applying for a residency opportunity in Finland, and working on an exhibition with two others, but finding additional options is always good, and makes me feel like I actually am doing worthwhile things. I don't want my art career to fall by the wayside. Hopefully something more will come from what I've been doing this afternoon.

Small changes

It's amazing the difference that one small change can make. I've just been working on a new portrait, and I'm so excited about it! Everything is the same as usual, except that I've downsized the portrait in relation to the canvas. This was initially an error, but as I carried on I found that it really worked for me. Possibly because my style of painting is not overly detailed, so a smaller scale doesn't take anything away. I'm still in the early stages, and there's much more to do, but I'm loving how it looks right now. I love it when I can get really excited about the work I'm doing, and I can't wait for this layer of paint to dry so I can carry on with it!
We've had a minor setback in terms of planning our upcoming show, but we're looking into some new options. One way or another we'll get it going, and I can definitely see this piece having a place in the exhibition. I'm really looking forward to carrying on with this and seeing how it turns out!

Recent work now for sale

Now that the exhibition in Brick Lane is over, I have listed some pieces from that show for sale on Etsy. To see what's available have a look here,
It's sad that the show is over now, but I've got lots more things coming up so I'll still be busy, and I'm excited about the work I'm doing now!

The Sketchbook Project/The problem of self portraiture

These images are from my work for The Sketchbook Project. My book is nearly completed, and just needs a few finishing touches. The book was a lot smaller than I anticipated - I think they have downsized since 2011 - and as a result I filled it very quickly. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. I chose to document my actions at a particular time each day, purely because I had done this several years ago, and really enjoyed it. This time I found it to be a less enjoyable process. I think this is just because the past couple of months have been very busy for me, and having to stop what I was

 doing at a particular time to do this was a bit of an inconvenience. In a way, I'm quite glad that I can stop doing it now.
Over the past couple of weeks I've been working on a new painting, the first in a series on self-examination, entitled "Scared of Moths and Death". It's a self-portrait, and that has been a bit of a challenge. Often I've shied away from self-portraits, fearing that I'd be considered narcissistic or arrogant for painting them. A few months ago someone pointed out to me that all art is narcissistic and arrogant - we are taking something we have made and expecting other people to care. So I'm not so concerned now.
Still, self-portraits are difficult, and others have agreed with me on this. I think the biggest problem is that you cannot really be objective about your own physical appearance. It is much easier to do this when you're looking at someone else. When you are dealing with your own appearance it is very

difficult to ignore both your own insecurities about how you look, and the ideas you have about how you wish you looked. When I paint or sketch myself I seem to end up either looking like a supermodel or looking like a complete troll, and I don't think I reflect either of those in reality. Then even more insecurities come though, because I conclude I must be very bad at drawing, or just very, very ugly.
Thankfully this painting is turning out fairly well. I'm now at the stage of embroidering onto the canvas, and truthfully, I forgot how much more difficult it is to do that than to sew onto fabric. A few more days and it should be completed. I'm planning another portrait of myself as I am now, and then a pair of similar portraits of myself as a child. This will be interested for me, because I don't usually work with images of children. It'll be good to see how that turns out.
In addition, I'm writing brief texts about some of the 50 facts I'm using in the works, generally the ones I use as titles for the pieces. I've only been able to write one so far, but we'll see how this goes.

Article in the Hendon and Finchley Times

I was recently interviewed by the Hendon and Finchley Times about the upcoming exhibition in Brick Lane. The article was published today, and you can read it online here. The show starts next week, it's come around so quickly, and it's all very exciting.

Ready for the show!

Here are some images of my recent work, hung for the show. If you live in or near London you can see this for yourself from 25th until 28th May at Middlesex University in Hendon. (Grove Building.) Alternatively, selected pieces will be on show at Truman Brewery in Brick Lane between the 9th and 11th of June. Come to see it for yourself! All pieces are for sale, please email me for further information and prices.

The old and the new

This is the final piece from my body of work on my time in Finland, featuring stereotypical English phrases translated into Finnish. Selected pieces will be shown in central London from June 8th.

I've already moved onto new things, working with the themes of self-examination and the conflict between public and private lives. This work will centre around a list of 50 little known facts about myself, confronting the viewer with them, and questioning how much information is too much. The viewer might react with interest, shock or disgust at finding out these facts. I'm expecting to show some work on these themes at an upcoming show in July.