Exhibition opening this weekend

The new exhibition, celebrating the first birthday of Camden Image Gallery, opens at the weekend, and above is one of the new pieces I'll be exhibiting. It's been a few months since I last exhibited, as I've had a lot of other things to focus on, so I'm looking forward to showing work again.

Camden Image Gallery has been very significant for me over the past year. The managing director is one of my close friends, and I've made many new friends through the gallery too. I remember, over a year ago, the first time I saw it before it was open to the public, and the way that it has grown over the last year is inspiring. Elena works extraordinarily hard, and I'm very proud to be associated with this gallery.

I'm really excited about the new pieces - I was intending to keep these drawings in charcoal only until I was asked to be part of this exhibition, but I feel that using colour has also been really effective. I love how streaks of vibrant colour come through in certain places, and I love the build up of layers, as in my paintings. One thing I'm really enjoying is the freedom to make mistakes and blur them again, and being flexible with how I build up layers. I'm really thinking of this body of work as experimentation, and maybe that is aiding my process.

Something I've really picked up on in these drawings is the texture that can be developed from constantly screwing up paper and drawing more layers. In the image above in particular, the final layers of pastel look like tracings of texture, and this is something I'm very keen on. I'm now even more enthusiastic about working on paper for a while, and drawing rather than painting. I have an idea for a large and intricate piece of work, totally different to previous pieces, that I plan to work on when I get back to Sweden next month, and now plan to incorporate colour into this piece, as well as monochrome charcoal drawings. 

My recent work, as well as being pieces in their own right, has also been serving as preparatory work for the new idea, and it has really inspired me. I've learned a lot about which types of paper work best, and the different results that different papers can yield. I've now been working with the theme of weathering for just over two years, and it's amazing how the idea has grown and developed in that time. Using paper allows for lots of new possibilities, and I want to keep working with this.

This exhibition is also significant, because it is likely to be my last exhibition in London for a while. On 2nd January I am going back to Sweden, and this time should be staying for the foreseeable future. I'm looking forward to producing more work, and exhibiting in a new country.

My art fair experience

Parallax Art Fair finished yesterday. This was the largest exhibition I've been involved in as of yet, so it was a new experience, and provided great exposure for my work.
Due to other work, including curating a show, I feel that I didn't prepare as far in advance as I should have for Parallax, and I've certainly realised that something on this scale needs more preparation than other shows. I think taking on other shows and responsibilities since agreeing to be part of Parallax might not have been the best idea, and I've realised that in future I need to be more mindful of the workload that I take on.
For consistency, the organisers of Parallax have very specific requirements for how work should be hung. I was under the impression that this wasn't very flexible, and this was the element of the show that caused me the most difficulties, but upon attending the show I noticed that very few people had actually hung their work in the way described by the organisers. If I exhibit at a Parallax event in the future I think I'll be less concerned about
hanging the work in a way that suits me better.
The show was very busy, and during the private view it was difficult to just walk around because it was so crowded. Not every single person at the venue would have seen my work, but I was pleased with the number of visitors. When I attended the fair yesterday a lot of other artists commented to me that it was quieter than they had expected, but there were still a lot of people coming through. The fair was held in Chelsea Town Hall, which is a great location with plenty of foot traffic.
I was really impressed with the huge variety of work and styles in the show. Understandably, not

everything was to my personal taste, but I feel that anyone could have found something they liked. I really enjoyed being involved in a show that was so diverse. The artists showing encompassed so many different styles, backgrounds, and interests, and for me it was great to be part of a show including artists I doubt I'd ever exhibit with otherwise. I feel that my work was exposed to a really diverse audience, and probably to people who would never normally see, or choose to see, my work. In relation to my own tastes, I really liked that there was so much vibrant, colourful work in the show.
It was interesting also to meet other artists, particularly artists from outside of London. Generally artists were friendly and supportive of each other, but one thing that I found really disappointing is that some artists were perfectly happy to leave their flyers in other artist's spaces, stand in other artist's spaces blocking their work whilst talking on the phone or to a visitor, or leaving their belongings in another artist's space. I noticed this happening quite

a lot, and a couple of the artists near to me were culprits. I think that one person in particular was just ignorant rather than genuinely rude, but I was quite surprised that some artists had so little regard for others. Perhaps they were just very concerned with promoting themselves and ensuring that they were seen, but I feel it's a poor attitude to do this at the expense of others.
When I saw an artist putting her own flyers in front of my work and business cards I quite happily moved them into her own space, and I hope that others who found this happening took the same approach. The fact that this was happening is probably just the luck of who I was placed near to, and may not have been an issue with other artists or in other parts of the venue. I don't think this would put me off exhibiting at an event like this in the future, it's just unfortunate.
Sitting in my space yesterday was great because I met a lot of different people and got plenty of feedback and comments from the public, which was really positive for me. Many people asked

questions about the work and made comments, which made me happy. I had quite a good position in the room as my work was at the very back, whereas there were aisles going up the room towards the back, meaning that some people may miss work in one of the aisles, whereas my space was fairly unavoidable.
The pieces I showed were made between 2011 and 2013, including the paintings made in Iceland, and I don't intend to exhibit the same work again in the near future. I have more recent work that I'm pleased with, and I feel that the work with weathering is continue to develop in new ways, so I'd like to focus on that for now. Furthermore, I don't want every show I have to be repetitive and only show the same work. These pieces have all been exhibited at least three times, and I feel that this is enough.
Unfortunately I didn't make any sales at the show, but I feel this was a really valuable experience in terms of exposure for my work. The fair was quite different to the exhibitions I usually take part in, so it was a new experience for me. I'm really pleased that

I was given the opportunity to take part, and I hope that the exposure my work gained will pay off in the future.
On the whole this was a really positive experience, and I would be interested in exhibiting with Parallax again in the future. I really enjoyed seeing the other work in the show, and will definitely attend future fairs as a visitor. It's exciting to see so much work in one place, and to be exposed to so many different artists all at once. If I exhibit in the future I'll definitely prioritise this show over other work and be more sensible with my preparations. I've been working towards this show since December, and now that it's over I'm looking forward to working on new exhibitions and projects.

The last week

I can't believe it's the last week of my residency, and this time next Monday I'll be back in England. The week hasn't had the best start, as I've found that my final canvas was blown away during the night, meaning that only 2 canvasses have actually survived.
I'm not quite sure how I feel, as it is a bit disappointing, but it is a risk I have to accept when it comes to working here. At least I can say that I'm really pleased with the two canvasses I do still have, and I'm keen to exhibit them once I got home. It would have been nice to have come away from this with a larger body of work, and I didn't plan for this happening because I honestly didn't know that the conditions here would be strong enough to make this happen. I'm satisfied with what I have, but it would have been good to have more work.
This week will mainly be spent planning and preparing for future work, in particular the weathered fibre piece I hope to work on. I think I'll also try a couple of works of paper or wood whilst I still have the chance. I've put an experiment on wood out in place on the canvas piece, and hopefully this will last as it's a bit heavier than the canvas.

First finished piece!

 I'm so happy to say that I've now finished one canvas, and I am so pleased with how it has turned out. It has been titled "Mud", for obvious reasons!
Embroidering the canvas last night was a messy job, due to the amount of dirt of the surface, but it was absolutely worthwhile. The weathering is so clear here, and I'm still amazed by how quickly it happened. This is exactly the kind of result I wanted all along, so I'm very satisfied with this piece. In Iceland I've been working on a smaller scale than usual, due to time constraints, and I think this has also helped to speed up the process.
I love that there is balance between areas that are built up and intense, and areas such as the forehead that are less blemished, I think that really works in this piece. I also love that the dampness of the environment has caused to chalk to spread and drip in some places, that wasn't a result I was expecting but I think it works in contrast with the bolder aspects of the work.

 This piece has really confirmed for me that bringing my practice out here for a time was the best decision, I've accomplished what was not possible in London. When I originally conceived this idea, about a year ago, this was the kind of effect I was imagining and hoping for. I had to go a lot further than I expected to manage this, but I'm really satisfied now.
However, unfortunately yesterday I found that the piece in the rockpool has been washed away. This really doesn't surprise me, as in the past few days the sea has been very choppy, the waves have been even more violent than they were last week. with the waves being so big I would probably have drowned if I'd gone down to check the painting over the weekend.
It's a shame, but an occupational hazard if I choose to work in this way. I'm glad that I was at least able to document the weathering process with images and film, even though there is no work at the end of it. It has highlighted that I perhaps need to be even more

careful when it comes to securing the works, so  I'm keeping a very close eye on the piece that is still outside.
I am considering bringing it inside today, as it is already scratched, and this morning I had to climb along the rocks to retrieve it, as the winds last night had blown it further down the cliffs, along with the rock it is tied to. I obviously knew that the weather conditions would be more dramatic here, but I didn't understand just how extreme it could be. It's completely unpredictable, and whilst that it great for the weathering process I'm having to work a lot harder just to make sure that I do actually have some pieces left!
Even if the remaining works don't go to plan I'm so happy with this painting, and will be exhibiting it in London next month for sure. Yesterday I also placed a couple more paper experiments outside, and I'm also planning to try out a piece on wood, to see if and how this differs from weathering canvas. I'm so excited about the possibilities here!

A Year in the Real World - Excerpt from my Book

It’s almost one year since I finished my degree and was sent out into the real world. I feel that I’m still adapting to this, and it doesn’t yet quite feel normal for me. Halfway through my degree I took a year out, but during that time I had the security of knowing that I had my education to go back to, and that was definitely a comfort. The time seems to have flown by, even though I am still in a period of adaptation.

            It makes sense that I’m still adjusting – until this point I’ve spent the majority of my life in education, so it’s no wonder it’s a bit strange to have this missing. In quiet moments at work, I often think of what I was doing at university a year ago, and how happy that made me. It’s quite hard when you’ve had the opportunity to devote yourself to the thing you love, and suddenly that’s not what happens anymore. I really miss being a student, and the freedom I felt with that. Working for a living feels so much more restrictive, especially after taking a degree which allowed me to use my time so flexibly.

            Being released into the world has made me do more to promote myself and my work, even when it’s sometimes a struggle to fit this in between my day job. I think graduating made me suddenly see myself as a professional person, and made me act more like a professional person.

Although I made some efforts whilst I was still studying, the amount I do has undeniably increased. I was more focussed on my education for most of the time whilst I studied. I took some steps to promote and sell my work whilst I took a year out, and I feel that these efforts taught me lessons that have benefitted me more recently. Being forced into a non-creative environment has really enhanced my desire and compulsion to be involved with art and creative practices. It’s like art is a magnet for me. I’m doing things to push my work and my career forward, despite the time constraints that mean I have less time to concentrate on actually producing work.

            As frustrating as recent months have been, in that I no longer have the constant involvement with art I had as a student, it’s reassuring to feel the art world pulling me back. This seems like confirmation that art is what I need to be doing, and that I’m on the right track.

As time goes on, I also become more and more sick of working every day in a non-creative environment. Maybe this has also motivated me to push my career forward as much as I can. Although I feel that I probably could have accomplished more, I do feel proud of the efforts I’ve made since graduating, and the progression I’ve made. This is not just in terms of the exhibitions or publicity I’ve had, it’s also in regards to the work I’ve produced, and the development and progression of my ideas. I feel that in recent months my work has become more conceptual, as well as the other advances I’ve made.

            The novelty of my day job has definitely worn off for me, after 10 long months. My dissatisfaction is compounded by remembering that, one year ago, I was taking part in degree shows and frantically finishing my work, doing the things I really want to do as a career. It sometimes seems plain cruel that I was able to devote several years of my life, whilst studying, to the subject matter I love, and now that’s over with.

            I’m realistic enough to know that at this point there’s no way I can make a living as an artist, but I would absolutely love to work in an art gallery, and to feel more connected to the art world again. When I visit or take part in exhibitions, or talk about art with people who share my passions and ambitions, I feel much more at home, and I feel more comfortable. I’d love to go back to that environment full-time.

            At the time that I graduated and was looking for work, I didn’t see the point in looking for exclusively art-related jobs, as there just isn’t enough for the demand. I’m lucky to have found stable employment so quickly after finishing university, but upon reflection I think this past year might have been easier if I’d had a job related to art. I’d have been in my comfort zone, and I expect I would have enjoyed the past year more.

            I now feel that I want to start looking for work in the art industry much more seriously than I did previously. I really think I’d feel more satisfied if all the work I did was orientated around art, not only the practical work I make. I really think this is one of the easiest and most obvious routes to making myself feel happier. The problem is that I want to do this, whilst at the same time looking to taking part in an artist’s residency in autumn. That certainly hinders the job search.

            The past year has definitely been a time of change, and a time of confusion and turmoil. I don’t think this is exclusive to me, or to people involved in the same things as me. I think this applies to many people of my age, and at a similar stage of their life as I am. Everyone I speak to seems to feel a bit unsettled and lost.

It seems reasonable to feel kind of confused when you’re just starting out in the real world, and trying to find your place, regardless of your interests, job, or ambitions. The state of the economy puts a lot of people in a difficult position, in that they can’t do the work they’d really love to do, plus a lot of people of my age don’t even know what they want to do yet. I’m very fortunate that I do have a clear idea of what I want, and have done for many years. A lot of people seem to feel very mixed up, and have been struggling since they graduated.

            Feeling lost and anxious obviously isn’t pleasant, which is why I’m thinking more of finding employment in the art world, and feeling just as connected as I did a year ago. When I’m not actively producing work, or involved with exhibitions and art, I feel like I’m wasting my time. Being employed in this field would surely ease these feelings. I’d really like a greater sense of fulfilment in my life.

            The past year has certainly not been the easiest in my life, and has been a time of change and upheaval. In comparison to the final year of my degree, and the years before that too, it’s miserable. There have been positive and negative aspects, and I still feel that there’s plenty of room for improvement and progression. I feel that my sense of ambition may have intensified in the past year. This is a positive thing, but makes my current working situation all the most frustrating.

I hope to keep my career moving in the direction I want it to, and I hope that, seeing as a day job is a necessity, I can find something that makes me happier than my current job. I think this will greatly improve my circumstances, and will help me to build connections that will add to the progression of my art career.

Lots of experiments

Due to moving house and having no internet I've been unable to update this blog. However, I have been working away with preparatory work, and I now feel quite ready to start working on the final painting of Emmi. I've laid down some blocks of colour on the finalo canvas, and today I plan to start the portrait.
In a discussion yesterday it was suggested to me that the poetry and painting are at odds with each other - the poetry is deliberately mixed up and random, whereas the painting is intended to be clearer and direct. I'm trying to hit a balance between the work being immediately readable, and therefore not very interesting, and being complicated and challenging. I want to viewer to have to consider the work a bit, not just look at it once, understand it, and move on.
In order to create more harmony I'm thinking of adding a rough, continuous line drawing, layered on top of the portrait. In my view this will add an element of confusion, without making the image indecipherable. I hope that the loose threads will also add a degree of disarray.

The other thing I'm currently working on is a philosophical text to be shown alongside these paintings, examining the nature of distance and separation. The individual works are more concerned with particular people, whereas this will reflect on distance and long-distance relationships more generally. I began writing notes on this last week, and don't want to publish too much right now.
I'm also considering how to present this text so that it fits with the other work. This is still in the early stages, so nothing is certain yet.